Justin is forever stealing lip balm from me. I normally use Burt's Bees or Neutrogena. I buy them in bulk because I am fairly addicted. It's a state of emergency if I can't get my hands on a stick. My lips start emitting actual flames and peeling in layers. I get coconuts about it even if I just applied some 5 minutes ago. To avoid this mess, I always keep a few tubes stashed in my purse and at least four others in various strategic areas of my house/desk/car.
Every Christmas, I get Justin a few of his own masculine tubes from Bath and Body Works and I warn him that at $7.50 per tube he better keep up with them like he does his wallet/cell phone, but he never does. Throughout the year, I buy him Carmex or some dude version of Blistex to keep him in stock. These lip balms are left untouched, on his dresser until they roll off the dresser into the worm hole underneath it. When we move, I expect to find a stash that I can re-gift in his Christmas stocking for years to come. It's something psychological... It's the same thing as Georgia preferring the food on my plate to the food on her plate even though it's the VERY SAME FUCKING FOOD!!
Invariably, I find MY precious tubes in odd places and when I uncap them to get a hit (upon sight of any lip balm, even in a movie, I immediately need some), the balm is mangled and mushy. It is actually dirty in the crease where the cap snaps on. It's as if he chewed on it for a minute, rubbed it on some sandpaper, and then rolled it through a dirty ashtray before leaving it for dead. I call them dead soldiers. IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF! It is wasteful and disgusting! Why are boys so damn gross!?
Burt's Bees makes a Shimmer Stick in some cute, very pale colors. I am resolving to use nothing but this brand/style because not only is it good stuff, and Justin will avoid it, but most especially because I KNOW the day will come when Justin's lips are burning off his face and he is so desperate for something that he'll use it! I'll be waiting in the bushes with my camera!
AHAHAHAHAAAAA!
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LOL, now that was funny! I didn't see it coming and I know the dude.
ReplyDeletep.s. stop letting your kids eat off your plate, that is an annoying thing to watch.
Why is lip shit like crack? I have to have it in every coat pocket, each car, any desk that I may sit at...when will I ever not need it?
ReplyDeletePS - @ beej: I would let my kid eat from the dog bowl if that's what it takes to guarantee fullness
@ beej: stop trying to school me in your comments! Just enjoy!
ReplyDeleteLOL I just saw the comments. He He.. Good Point. Sorry. It is the control freak in me. I cna't help it. This is why we need a dualing sister blog BAAAAD.
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant.
ReplyDelete1. a way to justify buying cute new soft pale lipsticks all the time
2. a way to save money by avoiding burying dead soilders
3. a way to laugh at your husband at a weak moment - a personal goal of mine daily.
Brilliant.