Don't be a sucker like the rest of the world!

Ok, this is the only speech I'll make to expectant parents and I really, really feel strongly about this: DO NOT FIND OUT THE SEX OF YOUR BABY!

I've done it both ways. With my first child (William), we didn't want to know and when the doctor said "It's a boy!", my heart literally skipped a beat! IT WAS THE SINGLE MOST EXCITING THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!

With my second child (Georgia), again we didn't want to know but the doctor slipped and told us about halfway through the pregnancy, it was totally anti-climactic. I feel even more strongly now that I've done it both ways. The pregnancy itself is exciting enough. It's a short time and it's the only time in your life when you can truly be surprised!

As far as preparing for a boy or a girl - white clothes and bedding are better than any colors because babies get stains and white can be bleached clean. Also - all babies wear for the first 8 weeks is little t-shirts, gowns, and onesies.

As far as decorating, there are so many great neutral room themes that are far classier than pink girl / blue boy stuff. Once that little shawty arrives, you can go to your favorite baby clothes store and stock up on all that you want in the right colors. This also ensures that you won't overbuy throughout your pregnancy and be wasteful. Plus, what if you have a teeny tiny baby and you didn't buy teeny tiny clothes. OR what if you did buy teeny tiny clothes (and you already washed them so baby would have clean clothes as soon as you get home because you won't feel like doing laundry) and your baby is not so teeny tiny and you can't return them!!! Just get generic white stuff and wait...so many reasons to wait...

When you register for your shower, let people buy you equipment, gear, and diapers - not clothes. Other peoples taste in baby clothes sucks so bad anyway. Trust me, you'll need gear and equipment more than clothes that you can afford to buy yourself in exactly the style you like. And regarding the gear: I nearly stroke out when I see a Dad pushing a fluffy pink stroller with a fluffier fuscia baby bag through the mall. Get the gear to match your life, not the baby's gender! The car seat should coordinate with your CAR. The baby bag basically becomes your purse - so use the same rules for handbag purchasing. I personally protected my husband from stylish women stroking out when they saw him with baby gear in the mall by purchasing him his very own Jack Spade (husband of Kate) Field Bag. I gave it to him for Father's Day before the baby arrived. The first time he decided to take Wil on his own, he was psyched about packing up his very own bag for him but he did leave it at the very first place he stopped.


I really think it can help you bond with the baby faster too because you are so distracted by the surprise of "boy" or "girl" that you don't have time to be freaked out AND ALSO when you don't know, you cannot develop a specific expectation of how the baby will look so it can alleviate disappointment or lack of recognition.

When things get tough at the end when you're so uncomfortable it will give you so much to think about and focus on when you really need it! When you're actually in labor, you have so much anxiety already, and you're so scared that you need something to focus on to get your mind off it and that is the only thing big enough to distract you!

My mother-in-law literally got MAD at me 4 or 5 times during my pregnancy with Wil because we wanted it to be a surprise. She was outright angry because she wanted to know, damnit! It drove her up a wall. Before he was born, in the hospital, she told me she was so glad we didn't find out, she thought it was the most exciting birth she ever waited for because of that.

Also, three or four friends of mine just had babies and they all found out the sex, knew the name, etc. so far in advance that when it came time for the birth, people were like "Oh, I kept thinking they had her a while ago..." because they already knew sex/name. They just were not nearly as excited and believe me, you need people to be excited for you and stay excited for you!
Sometimes, they're wrong anyway and how devastating would that be?
Update: December 2008: Before, I'd only heard of it happening. Now, I actually know a woman who was having a girl, had the name, the clothes, the nursery all in PINK and brown {played out but pretty} and went to the hospital to have her, and OOPS! FUCKING BOY! Sorry!

It's very tempting to find out, but when you do find out, the huge surprise is all over with in one short second and then the excitement is over. With Wil, my office did a "baby pool" and bet a pot of almost $1,000 on boy/girl/length/weight - and then they donated the money to us anyway...and sent us a huge fruit basket with chocolate and treats with a big blue bow on it to the hospital. It was so much more exciting!! With Georgia, they didn't even send a card or flowers to the hospital!

Don't be a sucker like the rest of the world. It is truly one on the most amazing surprises of your life. Please do not find out!