Justin was asking me about the health of his skin the other day. I think he's been experimenting with eye creams, sssh! His skin HAS changed drastically in the last 5 years, as expected, when he's spent 12 hours per day, 6 days a week outdoors in the blistering sun or wretched cold. I pester him constantly about moisturizer and SPF. To be compelling, this time I brought up Dog The Bounty Hunter. While I love Dog (and especially Leland), he occasionally sports the look of a Shar Pei.
Justin was quiet for about 15 seconds...
Then he wondered aloud if Dog had a place at the top of his dresser where he stores his roach-clip leather strap beaded/feathered hair inserts. He wondered if Dog clips them onto something the way a woman would hang necklaces from a jewelry tree. Then he wondered if Dog had maybe been to a flea market and possibly spotted some unearthly contraption that he could use for storing said roach-clip accessories. Then he wondered who makes the roach-clip accessories and how the feathers actually stay attached during all that action. Do you think it's glue? twine? metal wire? I mean, how do the feathers not get lost? Do you think he has to go home and repair them from time to time? Then he talked about door-to-door Kirby vacuum salesmen.
I couldn't breathe for the laughing.
O
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
You too can control the elephants in your head!
I recently wrote about lists and what they could say about our mental health. I started to brush upon the topic of self awareness, but I scrapped it so the blog wouldn't ramble.
I got fired up about it again when I saw Jonah Lehrer (02/05/09) on The Colbert Report. He talked about humans and decision making. He said, "The emotional brain generates gut instincts and intuition. The rational brain deals with facts. Humans tend to filter the world to confirm what they already believe. It's nice to have your preconvceived notions confirmed BUT it's important to be aware of those flaws so you can counteract them. It takes real work to control the elephants inside your head."
Mr. Lehrer talked specifically about the pilot who recently landed that flight in the Hudson - how he had to overcome his gut instincts and fear and let his training produce a deliberate, rational [and more safe] decision. He discusses, "metacognition (thinking about thinking) to see if you're thinking the right way and adjust your thought process."
I am the sort of person who doesn't like the idea of my habits being the boss of me. I will intentionally quit drinking Diet Coke for long periods just to make sure I am still in charge. I try to mix up my routines to make sure I can still cope without the comfort of my creature comforts. I thrive on structure and organization but I force myself to wing it sometimes. I do this to delay or counteract the inevitable, which for me is becoming my Nana who is so O/C that she has to check the lock 7 times with her left hand and 7 times with her right hand just to be able to leave the house.
My husband is a constant litmus test for my self-awareness. He is the most random thinker you ever met. He often bounces from task to task, never fully finishing any of it until he is good and damn ready to! When we started dating, I had a very serious management job with a very large company. I was the classic definition of a type A, over-achiever, control freak. Justin taught me how to drink beer and float down the river on an inner tube on a Sunday afternoon even if my work wasn't done, and honestly, that down time made me even more effective on the job. He taught me how to relax and enjoy the fruits of all my labor. To this day, I know this has everything to do with why I married him.
The year he decided to become a realtor, I worried constantly that he didn't have the self-discipline for it. A year later, when he decided to become a contractor, I stayed in a frenzy with nightmares of living in a half finished house our whole lives. Justin can be explained like this: He has the money, but forgets to pay the bills. I couldn't trust the floor I was standing on until I saw that his methods have a madness that work, FOR HIM. He's built a very nice business, and his customers (not surprisingly) love him and his solid work. As his back office, I can't stand him (where business is concerned). Our differences still seperate us, but I have learned to TRY a different way of thinking - and I think it has saved our relationship more than once.
Self awareness can be hard, but nothing worth having comes easily. I think self awareness is like a locked door that you are holding the key to. The only thing standing in the way of opening the door is your will to turn the key.
It's like packing your kitchen when you move. It looks really scary because there is a ton of shit to sort through, but it's all familiar shit and you know exactly which items to put in the garage sale pile and which items you should keep.
When we go on vacation, I always spend the prior week a bit hysterical - freaking out, making lists, doing mass amounts of deep cleaning, laundry, paying bills and running errands as if I were preparing to leave the country for 3 months. It's just my method! While not totally pleasant, I always know it's coming so I indulge a bit and plan for the craziness every time. I try to use it for good instead of evil.
My self awareness is in knowing that I get this way because I won't truly relax while I'm on vacation if I know there are rotting dishes in the dishwasher and I'll obsess about that damp towel molding in the hamper. It's my way of making sure the vacation succeeds. I know I'm going too far when I start trying to give away food that will still be perfectly good by the time we get back. When that Jessee arrives, I have a little talk with her about chilling the fuck out! "Put the stick of butter back in the fridge! Be the change you want to see!" And it works.
O
I got fired up about it again when I saw Jonah Lehrer (02/05/09) on The Colbert Report. He talked about humans and decision making. He said, "The emotional brain generates gut instincts and intuition. The rational brain deals with facts. Humans tend to filter the world to confirm what they already believe. It's nice to have your preconvceived notions confirmed BUT it's important to be aware of those flaws so you can counteract them. It takes real work to control the elephants inside your head."
Mr. Lehrer talked specifically about the pilot who recently landed that flight in the Hudson - how he had to overcome his gut instincts and fear and let his training produce a deliberate, rational [and more safe] decision. He discusses, "metacognition (thinking about thinking) to see if you're thinking the right way and adjust your thought process."
I am the sort of person who doesn't like the idea of my habits being the boss of me. I will intentionally quit drinking Diet Coke for long periods just to make sure I am still in charge. I try to mix up my routines to make sure I can still cope without the comfort of my creature comforts. I thrive on structure and organization but I force myself to wing it sometimes. I do this to delay or counteract the inevitable, which for me is becoming my Nana who is so O/C that she has to check the lock 7 times with her left hand and 7 times with her right hand just to be able to leave the house.
My husband is a constant litmus test for my self-awareness. He is the most random thinker you ever met. He often bounces from task to task, never fully finishing any of it until he is good and damn ready to! When we started dating, I had a very serious management job with a very large company. I was the classic definition of a type A, over-achiever, control freak. Justin taught me how to drink beer and float down the river on an inner tube on a Sunday afternoon even if my work wasn't done, and honestly, that down time made me even more effective on the job. He taught me how to relax and enjoy the fruits of all my labor. To this day, I know this has everything to do with why I married him.
The year he decided to become a realtor, I worried constantly that he didn't have the self-discipline for it. A year later, when he decided to become a contractor, I stayed in a frenzy with nightmares of living in a half finished house our whole lives. Justin can be explained like this: He has the money, but forgets to pay the bills. I couldn't trust the floor I was standing on until I saw that his methods have a madness that work, FOR HIM. He's built a very nice business, and his customers (not surprisingly) love him and his solid work. As his back office, I can't stand him (where business is concerned). Our differences still seperate us, but I have learned to TRY a different way of thinking - and I think it has saved our relationship more than once.
Self awareness can be hard, but nothing worth having comes easily. I think self awareness is like a locked door that you are holding the key to. The only thing standing in the way of opening the door is your will to turn the key.
It's like packing your kitchen when you move. It looks really scary because there is a ton of shit to sort through, but it's all familiar shit and you know exactly which items to put in the garage sale pile and which items you should keep.
When we go on vacation, I always spend the prior week a bit hysterical - freaking out, making lists, doing mass amounts of deep cleaning, laundry, paying bills and running errands as if I were preparing to leave the country for 3 months. It's just my method! While not totally pleasant, I always know it's coming so I indulge a bit and plan for the craziness every time. I try to use it for good instead of evil.
My self awareness is in knowing that I get this way because I won't truly relax while I'm on vacation if I know there are rotting dishes in the dishwasher and I'll obsess about that damp towel molding in the hamper. It's my way of making sure the vacation succeeds. I know I'm going too far when I start trying to give away food that will still be perfectly good by the time we get back. When that Jessee arrives, I have a little talk with her about chilling the fuck out! "Put the stick of butter back in the fridge! Be the change you want to see!" And it works.
O
Friday, January 16, 2009
Waiting in the bushes with my camera...
Justin is forever stealing lip balm from me. I normally use Burt's Bees or Neutrogena. I buy them in bulk because I am fairly addicted. It's a state of emergency if I can't get my hands on a stick. My lips start emitting actual flames and peeling in layers. I get coconuts about it even if I just applied some 5 minutes ago. To avoid this mess, I always keep a few tubes stashed in my purse and at least four others in various strategic areas of my house/desk/car.
Every Christmas, I get Justin a few of his own masculine tubes from Bath and Body Works and I warn him that at $7.50 per tube he better keep up with them like he does his wallet/cell phone, but he never does. Throughout the year, I buy him Carmex or some dude version of Blistex to keep him in stock. These lip balms are left untouched, on his dresser until they roll off the dresser into the worm hole underneath it. When we move, I expect to find a stash that I can re-gift in his Christmas stocking for years to come. It's something psychological... It's the same thing as Georgia preferring the food on my plate to the food on her plate even though it's the VERY SAME FUCKING FOOD!!
Invariably, I find MY precious tubes in odd places and when I uncap them to get a hit (upon sight of any lip balm, even in a movie, I immediately need some), the balm is mangled and mushy. It is actually dirty in the crease where the cap snaps on. It's as if he chewed on it for a minute, rubbed it on some sandpaper, and then rolled it through a dirty ashtray before leaving it for dead. I call them dead soldiers. IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF! It is wasteful and disgusting! Why are boys so damn gross!?
Burt's Bees makes a Shimmer Stick in some cute, very pale colors. I am resolving to use nothing but this brand/style because not only is it good stuff, and Justin will avoid it, but most especially because I KNOW the day will come when Justin's lips are burning off his face and he is so desperate for something that he'll use it! I'll be waiting in the bushes with my camera!
AHAHAHAHAAAAA!
O
Every Christmas, I get Justin a few of his own masculine tubes from Bath and Body Works and I warn him that at $7.50 per tube he better keep up with them like he does his wallet/cell phone, but he never does. Throughout the year, I buy him Carmex or some dude version of Blistex to keep him in stock. These lip balms are left untouched, on his dresser until they roll off the dresser into the worm hole underneath it. When we move, I expect to find a stash that I can re-gift in his Christmas stocking for years to come. It's something psychological... It's the same thing as Georgia preferring the food on my plate to the food on her plate even though it's the VERY SAME FUCKING FOOD!!
Invariably, I find MY precious tubes in odd places and when I uncap them to get a hit (upon sight of any lip balm, even in a movie, I immediately need some), the balm is mangled and mushy. It is actually dirty in the crease where the cap snaps on. It's as if he chewed on it for a minute, rubbed it on some sandpaper, and then rolled it through a dirty ashtray before leaving it for dead. I call them dead soldiers. IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF! It is wasteful and disgusting! Why are boys so damn gross!?
Burt's Bees makes a Shimmer Stick in some cute, very pale colors. I am resolving to use nothing but this brand/style because not only is it good stuff, and Justin will avoid it, but most especially because I KNOW the day will come when Justin's lips are burning off his face and he is so desperate for something that he'll use it! I'll be waiting in the bushes with my camera!
AHAHAHAHAAAAA!
O
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