McSeriously? 10:30am?

Since the time I discovered the salvation that is the breakfast menu at McD's (or Old MacDonald's as my 3 year old refers to it) I have been personally and deeply offended by their breakfast hours. I can remember thinking to myself that by the time I was in my mid-30's surely population shifts and generational consumerism would DICTATE without question that NOBODY wants a hamburger before 11:30am, and on the off chance that you do, a sausage mcmuffin would scratch that freaky itch, right?


Wrong!


Those bastards still cut breakfast off at 10:30.

In my single years, the concept of breakfast shutting down at 10:30 am irritated me because I consistently made it to work with about a millisecond to spare so I never stopped for breakfast. My hips are grateful for the intimate relationship I had with my snooze button. All week long, as I passed the golden arches at staggering speeds, I would shake my fist and promise mad damage come Saturday morning.

By Saturday morning, my hungover ass was as inclined to roll out for a "bacon egg and cheese with no bacon" as I was to wear FMB's.

In presesnt times, the Saturday AM hangover has been replaced by toddler morning breath and PBS Kids BUT STILL, getting out of the house in time to join the around-the-block-I-shit-you-not drivethru line before 10:10am is a feat deserving of an extra hasbrown. And we all know 10:10 to be the magic moment because just like bars at closing time, the McManager sets the clock six minutes fast AND you're never the only idiot craving the McCrack.

By 10:10am, the parking lot at ANY McD's becomes a rodeo circus of McCrack-heads. I always snicker at the dumbasses who parked and went inside because NOBODY in this drivethru line is leaving an inch between thier oversized, overpriced SUV and the oversized, overpriced crossover ahead of them for fear that a hungover 20-something in a miniature hybrid will line jump them. Sorry suckers! You parked! You're not going anywhere until 10:31am.

Did you know that "black friday" is modeled after McD's between 10:10 and 10:30 AM? Seriously, it's some marketing stragety designed to create urgency and minimize waste, right? I mean, who the hell wants a burger at 10:31 am on any given day?

Anyway, can we start a movement or something? Can I speak to your manager? Oh and also, why do they insist on putting the trash can AFTER the pick up window? Puhlease, strategically place this trash recepticle between the pay window and the pick up window so I can make space for new crap!! DUH!





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